Not Ready One Shot
by Lover36
Summary: When Sam goes to Dr. Meadows will she get the news she wants? And will she be ready for the news she gets? (Has a little Jasam) (Based on what I wanted to happen on 5-18-05)


_Disclaimer_: I do not own General Hospital or ABC andthese are not my characters.

Sam walked out the Dr. Meadows office crying, she wanted a baby so badly. Now might not be the perfect time with Michael being still a little out of it and Sonny going on trial. But Jason and her deserved this, they both wanted a child to call their own and they both loved each other. But this false hope she... they had, had was gone. She wasn't pregnant. She wasn't carrying Jason's child and there was nothing she could do about it.

_How am I going to tell him?_ She thought as she walked passed several hospital rooms. Then she stopped looking whole-heartedly at the newborns. Some dressed in pink blankets, some in blue. Each looked different, different hair, different eyes, different structure to each of their little bodies, their little faces.  
She sighed as she walked on and stepped into the lobby.

"Jas..." Sam started and ended in a whisper "..on."

He was talking to Courtney. She was going on and on as usual, but... _Whatever,_ Sam thought, _as long as I have more time to think of what I'm was going to say to him._

As Sam thought her mind wandered... she thought of Courtney, this woman who like her wanted a child, was pregnant, and lost her child. But unlike Courtney, Sam still could have children. Like Dr. Meadows said, "You are healthy, you are young, and Sam you are still able to have children. This just happened to be a mistake."  
Courtney couldn't have children... _That's horrible, I would never wish that on anybody.. she _thought watching as Courtney continued to talk to Jason.

Sam sighed again. _Courtney's going to take forever... that's it I'm going home._

Opening the penthouse door Sam remembered what it was like to be pregnant. _How would I act if I was pregnant now? What would I do differently?_

A few single tears started to roll down her cheeks as she realized, "I'd be scared." She said out loud, "I'd be soo scared... I'm not ready."

"Sam?" Jason questioned as he walked into the penthouse. He had wondered where she had gone and he still didn't know if she was pregnant or not.

_Lonesome stranger, with a crowd around you,  
I see who you are,  
You joke, they laugh, till the show is over,  
Then you fall so hard,  
If you're needing a soul to soul connection,  
I'll run to your side,_

Jason sighed as he saw her outside on the balcony.

_When you're lost in the dark,  
When you're out in the cold,  
When you're looking for something that resembles your soul,  
When the wind blows your house of cards,  
I'll be a home to your homeless heart,_

The wind was strongly blowing and she was only in a pair of jeans and a white tank top. He was worried, _Why is she acting like this?_

"Hey, you." Jason said walking up behind her. He didn't touch her and stood next to her a few inches away. She didn't move, she just smiled, a little.

_Open close me, leave your secrets with me,  
I can ease your pain,  
And my arms will be just like walls around you,  
Come in from the rain,  
If you're running in the wrong direction,  
I will lead you there,_

He continued, "So are you...?"  
She slightly turned and simply replied, "No..."  
Jason was about to say something when she continued, "But I'm happy about it."

_When you're lost in the dark,  
When you're out in the cold,  
When you're looking for something that resembles your soul,  
When the wind blows your house of cards,  
I'll be a home to your homeless heart,_

She looked at him through the corner of her eye and saw that Jason was puzzled.  
"I want a child, Jason, and I want it with you... but I'm not ready."  
She smiled again as the wind blew against her and caused her to shiver and move her hair. "I'm at peace with that... finally. I have to live my life, by myself... with you and just learn how to be me.. again."

_Broken, shattered like a mirror in a million pieces,  
Sooner or later you've got to find, something,  
Someone to save you,_

He moved closer and placed his arm around her. "I love you..." He whispered "and when you're ready, I'll be ready too." They both smiled this time, and just watched the sky together as the wind blew against their faces.

_When you're lost in the dark,  
When you're out in the cold,  
When you're looking for something that resembles your soul,  
When the wind blows your house of cards,  
I'll be a home to your homeless heart, _

When you're looking for something that resembles your soul,  
When the wind blows your house of cards,  
I'll be a home to your homeless heart,

I'll be a home to your homeless heart.

(The Song is _Homeless Heart_ by Amanda Stott)


End file.
